The Guilt of Wanting More

You’ve built a life you once dreamed about.

Maybe it’s the job that looked so good on paper, the home that feels safe, the relationship that’s steady. People around you look at what you have and think, She’s made it.

But lately, there’s been a quiet voice inside you—a whisper that gets louder when you’re driving home at night, or folding laundry in the kitchen. It says, This is good… but I think I want more.

And that’s when the guilt shows up.

It’s the guilt of ambition, the kind that tells you you’re selfish for wanting something different when you already have so much. The voice that says you should be satisfied, because other people would give anything to be in your position.

It’s a guilt women know well.

We’re conditioned to believe that wanting more means you’re ungrateful, or worse, greedy. That we should take up just enough space—but not too much. That contentment should be our end goal, not growth.

But here’s the truth no one tells you: gratitude and ambition are not opposites. You can love your life and still want more from it.

Why Wanting More Feels Wrong

The tension between “I’m thankful” and “I want more” often comes from how we’ve been taught to measure worth. If you grew up in a family, community, or culture where stability was the dream, you might feel like you’re betraying your roots by stepping beyond it.

Or maybe you’ve internalized the idea that ambition is masculine, aggressive, or incompatible with being nurturing. That somewhere along the way, chasing more for yourself means taking from someone else.

But ambition isn’t a zero-sum game. Expanding your life doesn’t shrink someone else’s—it expands what’s possible for everyone watching you.

Three Shifts to Release the Guilt

1. More Isn’t Greed—It’s Growth
Think about it: nature doesn’t apologize for blooming. Trees don’t stop growing because they’ve already provided enough shade. Wanting more for yourself doesn’t make you selfish; it means you’re still alive to your own potential.

2. Desire is Data
That restless, itchy feeling you get? It’s not a flaw—it’s information. It’s your body and mind’s way of pointing you toward your next chapter. The sooner you stop shaming it, the sooner you can use it as fuel.

3. You Can Honor Your Past While Building Your Future
Outgrowing a chapter doesn’t mean it was wrong, wasted, or unworthy. You can look back on what you’ve built with pride and still know it’s time to add more pages.

How to Start Moving Toward More

If you’ve been stuck in guilt, start small. You don’t have to burn it all down overnight.

• Take a class you’ve been curious about, even if it has nothing to do with your current career.
• Surround yourself with people who see possibility in you, not just the version of you they’ve always known.
• Keep a running list of the things that light you up—it’s a compass for where to go next.

And yes, there will be people who don’t understand your shift. That’s okay. Not everyone is meant to come with you into every chapter.

At Rae…

We believe wellness is about more than your body—it’s about living in alignment with what makes you feel fully alive. That means listening to the call for more, even when it scares you. Especially when it scares you.

You don’t need permission to evolve. You just need the courage to follow through.