Chef Alisha Wilder Is Making Room for Herself

Chef Alisha Wilder's grandmother had a saying: “I like pretty food.” She wasn't a professional chef, but she believed that whatever she served should be made with care. If something didn't turn out right, she would make it again. For Alisha, those meals were an early lesson in how food could be an expression of love, creativity, and connection.

Today, that philosophy is at the heart of everything Alisha does. A private chef, entrepreneur, and culinary arts educator, she's spent more than a decade working in restaurant and hotel kitchens. She's also the owner of Fresh Desires Catering & Private Chef and a high school teacher helping the next generation discover what food can become. With a culinary education from The Chef's Academy and a background in Exercise Science from Winston-Salem State University, she brings together her love of cooking and her understanding of how we care for our bodies.

But building a career around nourishing others has taught Alisha something equally important: you have to make room to nourish yourself, too.

When she was younger, her mother and grandmother used to tell her she was burning the candle at both ends. She'd stay up late working or spending time with friends, then wake up early for school or another full day. There was always somewhere to be, something to accomplish, or another opportunity she didn't want to miss. As she's gotten older, she's realized that constantly being on the go doesn't leave much room to be fully present for the things she's working so hard to build.

These days, protecting her energy is as important as how she spends it. She aims to get to the gym three times a week, enjoys time in the sauna, and finds that a short run or a walk outside can help her reconnect with herself. But some of her most meaningful moments of rest are even simpler. Sometimes she'll sit down with a cup of tea, set a timer for ten minutes, and decide that everything else can wait.

That same intention extends to the boundaries she sets at work. Her students, whom she affectionately calls “Velcro kids,” love spending time in her classroom, even during lunch. And while she loves being there for them, sometimes she needs a little quiet. “I love you, but you gotta go,” she tells them with a laugh. It's a small but important reminder that caring about people doesn't mean being available to them every minute of the day.

For Alisha, wellness isn't about perfection, restriction, or following an elaborate routine. It's about finding what helps you feel good and making space for it in the life you actually have. She believes in enjoying the foods you love, moving your body in ways that feel right, and recognizing that rest deserves just as much intention as productivity.

She's also learned that moving forward doesn't always mean doing more. When life starts to feel overwhelming, Alisha encourages people to think back to a time when things felt simpler. Not necessarily a different job or a different stage of life, but the little experiences that once made them feel connected to themselves. Maybe it was having coffee with a friend every week, spending more time outside, or enjoying a quiet morning before the day began. Those moments can disappear as responsibilities grow, but Alisha believes bringing even one of them back can make a difference. It doesn't have to be a major life change. Sometimes a few minutes is enough to remind you of what you've been missing.

It's a perspective that also shapes the way she approaches ambition. Alisha finds inspiration in people who share not only their successes but also the work and setbacks behind them. She understands the desire to keep growing and reaching for the next goal, but she's learned that progress requires time to recover, reflect, and appreciate where you are.

“You can't pour from an empty cup,” she says. And for someone who spends so much of her life creating, teaching, and caring for others, those words carry particular meaning.

Alisha still has big dreams and plenty she wants to accomplish. But she's no longer willing to lose herself in the process of getting there. Sometimes the most meaningful way to move forward is to make room for the things that made you feel like yourself in the first place.