The Real Reason You Can’t Sleep (Hint: It’s Not Just Melatonin)

You’re exhausted—but your brain isn’t.
You lie down and your body’s ready… but your thoughts start drafting emails, rehashing convos, and replaying your 7th grade haircut.

And if you do fall asleep, you wake up at 3:00 a.m.—wired, restless, and maybe a little mad at your pillow.

Here’s the truth no one tells you:
Sleep isn’t just about melatonin.
It’s about safety.

Not in the alarm-system kind of way—but in the nervous system kind of way.

The real reason you can’t power down

Your brain won’t release you into sleep if it still thinks you’re on the hook.
For anything. For everything.

It could be…

• The unprocessed conversation you had earlier.
• That work project looping in the back of your mind.
• The mental load you carry (and recarry) each night before bed.

This is nervous system dysregulation—not a character flaw.
You’re not “bad at sleeping.” You’re just stuck in go-mode.

3 shifts that go deeper than sleep hygiene

1. Rewire the shutdown sequence.
Don’t wait for sleep to do the job of unwinding you.
Try building a downshift ritual 30 minutes before bed—one that signals to your body “you’re done for the day.” That could be:

• Putting away your to-do list physically.
• Listening to music you loved before life got loud.
• Changing rooms, changing lighting, changing pace.

The ritual matters more than the routine. It’s about telling your body, “You’re safe now.”

2. Tend to the thought loops—early.
Many people try to suppress thoughts at night. Instead, give them a container.
Keep a notepad nearby—not for a to-do list, but for a brain dump. The earlier in the evening, the better. Get it out of your head and onto paper before it takes the stage at 10:30 p.m.

3. Feed your calm, not just your schedule.
Blood sugar crashes and cortisol spikes are a top reason women wake up between 2–4 a.m.
Try a small snack with protein and fat 30 minutes before bed. Greek yogurt with hemp seeds. A spoon of nut butter. No shame, no rules—just support.